Cardboard Cutouts

Since the 500, there’s certainly been no shortage of IndyCar subject matter to expound upon.  The Detroit Debacle, the owner’s revolt, fence fears at Texas.  But what I wanna talk about is something REALLY important and that is Cardboard Cutouts.   You see, not long ago—well it was probably a year or so--I was in the local grocery store.  As I was meandering through the snack section, I was greeted by a full size cardboard cutout of Marcos Ambrose hawking Little Debbie’s snack cakes.  There he was in fully race regalia enticing me to buy a sumptuous box of Boston Crème Rolls.  For whatever reason, the image of that cardboard cutout has stuck in my craw ever since.  Not because I have anything against Marcos Ambrose or Little Debbie’s.  Heck, I like both.  I suppose what really got me was that a second string NASCAR driver—ok so maybe he’s not a second string driver, but he’s no Jimmie Johnson either—got his own cutout while Indy Car’s best were nowhere to be found on any product in the store.  I mean, practically every other commercial I hear on the radio these days consists of embarrassingly  lame dialog between Dale Jr. and some sop bargaining over who gets the last “Diet Dew”.   I suppose at some point, I’ve even wiped my butt with toilet paper hawked by one NASCAR driver or another.  And yet when it comes to IndyCar drivers and advertising, it’s practically nada.  Ok, there are a few commercials running these days, certainly a vast improvement over years past.  But that’s not good enough for me.  Seriously, two of the best IndyCar drivers of all time are sponsored by one of the biggest retail stores in the world, and yet as a frequent shopper there, I have yet to see the likeness of Dario of Dixie anywhere to be found.  Come on now!  I mean, their cars are virtual billboards for the products they carry.  Can’t we get at least one cardboard cutout of Dario extolling the virtues of using Suave Shampoo?    Who wouldn’t buy shampoo from a guy with Hollywood hair like that?  So while the rest of the IndyCar blogdom wants owners to stop acting like spoiled brats, more ovals, and aero kits,  I just wanna see a cardboard cutout of an Indy Driver at my local Kroger every once in a while.